


How to Seduce a Figure Skater in 10 Easy Steps

by Zino



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Attempted Seduction, Getting Together, M/M, victor being a purehearted perv, yuuri in denial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 06:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9110245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zino/pseuds/Zino
Summary: Victor sighed. What was he doing wrong?At this rate he would have to delete the ‘easy’ part from the title.





	

**1\. GET NAKED AND ANNOUNCE YOU’RE GOING TO BE HIS COACH**

The first step is relatively easy – just get naked and do some talking. Anyone can do that, right? Of course getting naked in just _any_ place (at least while you’re still at this step) isn’t okay. You need to think of a proper place for it - like hot springs. Yeah, hot springs are perfect for this step. It’s completely normal for people to be naked there and nobody is going to bat an eye at you while you wait for him to arrive. Once he does come (not talking about the dirty do yet), you just elegantly rise from the water (be sure to check you’re in good shape and your butt looks good), make some grand gestures with your hands, tell him you’re going to be his coach _and_ make him win the Grand Prix. Then wink. The wink is important as it establishes your flirty nature and also works as a reminder for him that you’re here because _he_ was the one that invited you first. The wink can also hint that you wish for him to get naked as well and join you, as the last time you saw him stripping he was too drunk to take everything off and there are some things you wish to see. Or rather, just one thing. That can lead to many more wonderful things.

Just a small tip before we move on to the next step. It’s probably easier if you’re a well-known figure skater yourself and basically a living legend that everyone admires. Otherwise you may get kicked out and called a balding old pervert (then again, you are in the hot springs so you can just remind him that it is completely normal for you to be naked there and could he please not look so alarmed and ready to call the police).

Got all that? Successfully got out of your designer clothes and became his coach? Good, because now we can move on to the next step.

 

**2\. CHOREOGRAPH A SEXUAL PROGRAM FOR HIM**

In order for you to make him realise what’s the _real_ reason you took a break from your successful career, left everything behind and moved from Russia to Japan, you need to choreograph him a very special program. So you’ve seen his (drunk) potential and inner eros already. You know what he’s capable of, with or without the pole. You’ve witnessed with your very own eyes that he has the skill to make people like you, for example, fall in love with him even when he looks like a very drunken pig. You were maybe hoping that step one was all you needed, but for some reason he just kind of yelped in disbelief and then ran away from the hot springs, red-faced and all. So you have come to a conclusion – he’s a lot shyer and more modest when he’s not drunk and grinding against you. It’s okay though, you can live with that - after all, there is an easy way to change that. That’s right, what you need to do now is to choreograph him a sexual program. One that overflows with pleasure and makes him pregnant just by watching you perform it. You need to make him think about his eros again. You need to hint to him that you didn’t mind the grinding at the banquet party at all and in fact you’d like to resume doing it again right now. Better yet, include some of the same movements from your banquet dance-off/pair dance in this new program. You know, just to remind him of the banquet. Because he totally has failed to mention it yet and can’t he see your eyes are asking him to undress (and preferably fuck you) already.

Of course, if the skater you’re trying to seduce is _anything_ like one unnamed Japanese skater, he may come to an absurd conclusion that his eros is actually pork cutlet bowl. Meaning you’re not going to get the dick tonight either (really, if this keeps up soon you’re going to start thinking he didn’t actually mean anything he said at the banquet and it was just all drunk talk and you’ve been just making a huge fool of yourself with your constant flirting and advances). But it’s still all good, no need to get worried! Some people are just denser than others. This is still only step two. Meaning there are plenty of steps and time to make him notice you’re actually madly in love with him and would very much like to know if he feels the same.

Before moving on to the next step, it must be said that the important aspect of this program is to get him to try to seduce you. He may start picturing himself as food (it’s better if you don’t ask) at first or imagining himself as the most beautiful woman in town. You just need to firmly tell him those times are over and he needs to start seducing you as himself already (you don’t need food or pretty ladies. All you need are those killer thighs. Around you). It is important that you get him to imagine what it would feel like to seduce you and bring out his sexual nature. If he hasn’t started thinking about the dick (hopefully yours) yet, he’s going to do it now.

Done with the possible record breaking short program that should turn him into a beast (in bed)? The skater somehow still not quite understanding he’s being seduced? Time to move to step three.

 

**3\. PHYSICAL CONTACT IS THE KEY**

Despite all that constant blushing you find so adorable, he still hasn’t realised how much he wants you? Don’t worry, that’s why there is a step three. Now that he’s seen you naked and is practicing finding his eros, it is a good time to really start touching him. Anything is fine. Caress his hand while kneeling in front of him. Bring his chin up with your other hand and maybe lewdly flash your pink nipple and collarbone while asking him to tell you _everything_ about him. There are only two ways this kind of touching can end: 1. he’s going to melt and you’re going to get it (in a good way) or 2. he’s going to run away, yet again, leaving you frustrated and possibly extremely horny (after all you were in a freaking banquet room. He even brought it up by himself and you were absolutely sure it was going to happen! You even did the wink. _The wink!_ ). If the result is number one, good for you. Now it’s time to finish this and start enjoying your life with him. If it’s number two… hang in there! To make it obvious what you want just keep touching him: Touch his lip with your finger while bringing your face very close to his. You probably want to kiss him badly but sadly this step is still too early for that. Do not break eye contact and remember to use your huskiest tone yet, with a sexy hint of that tasty Russian accent. Boldly tell him to show his true eros to you soon. Really, that should do the trick.

Well unless you have some bratty fifteen-year-old hanging around, yelling at you to teach him first and totally interrupting the moment. It’s all good though as this advice is meant especially for you who has a hard life, surrounded by an angry teen and a denser than dense hot skater. Just keep on doing that physical contact. Keep on asking to sleep together with him (what you mean by that is up to him) and it is bound to have at least some kind of effect on him. Even if you don’t get the love confession and the invite to his bed (hopefully up to you this time to decide whether he means sleeping or _sleeping_ ) right away. More about these effects in step seven if you’re unlucky enough to make it that far without tapping that delicious booty yet.

Like it was mentioned in step one, a hot spring is a good place to be naked. You take him there to bathe together and don’t forget to touch him. It is as good a place as any to start stretching his naked body after hours of practice. Nobody’s going to think anything of it and you finally get the good looks at him you’ve been wanting to get since the last December. Don’t forget to tell him there, what it is exactly that made you so drawn to him in the first place. Mention the music and how his body creates that music. Don’t explicitly mention the pole dance because there’s a big chance he’s going to get really embarrassed (because really, why else hasn’t he mentioned it yet!?) and back away once more.

These touches don’t even need to be very private. In fact, you should do it everywhere! Do it on the ice in front of the press before his first official competition. If the press gets what you want with him, he will surely get it (soon) too. Hug him tightly and tell him to seduce you. You really can’t get any more obvious than that (okay, you actually can as there are still many steps left). Now, if you have kept touching him like you were instructed, he should be at the point where he doesn’t run away any more like in the beginning but hugs you back instead and doesn’t flinch when you apply that lip balm. Remember, lip balm is always a great excuse to touch his lips. 

If after all this, he still sees you as his coach only, don’t give in to the depression. Just move on to the next step, where you’re going to switch the tactic from physical to verbal.

 

**4\. SUGGEST BECOMING HIS BOYFRIEND**

So he didn’t get the hint with all that eros and your constant touching? Maybe he’s just more of a verbal person then. Or maybe he’s the kind that just doesn’t know how to read between the lines. Then you have to tell him straight. First casually suggest that you’d very much like to see him naked on ice. Are you being greeted with the “eeeh” filled with disbelief? No worries. Next you should ask what he would like you to be for him. Start checking if he has a daddy kink (it’s kinda hot if he does. You can admit that much) by asking if he wants you to be his father figure. If no, suggest a friend instead. It can be scary as there’s a potential friendzoning hanging in the air. If he doesn’t agree with that either, you’re good to go – suggest to him that you’re then going to be his boyfriend and you’re going to try your hardest.

Met with plenty of “no” again? It just tells you you’re dealing with a hard case.  Don’t get too upset even if you’re met with a rejection. If his reaction is anything like jumping in the air and denying the very possibility of you two dating with ears red and steaming, it just means he’s being too embarrassed. Again. It is still cute but you’re tired of being cockblocked this way, aren’t you? Try not to let it get to you. Trust your instincts - it will be worth the wait. The important part is done; you have successfully planted the idea of you two being an item to his head. Now you’re just going to have to water it every once in a while and let it bloom beautifully.

As you have now covered four steps of this bullet proof plan and if he still hasn’t got it, it may be a good time to call your old friend and whine a bit. Swiss skaters are always a good choice. Especially if they’ve seen what kind of eros your target skater can produce too. And you both know how good that ass looks in those dark blue boxers. You’re probably going to get advice such as “touch his ass” or “make an innuendo” from him. But you don’t want to go full pervy on your target just in case he’s more of a romantic type (like you are, despite you badly wanting that dick) and doesn’t appreciate dirtier tactics. Aside from the phone calls, you may also find yourself drinking a lot of sake. Think of it as sake for the sake of love. Poetic, right? It also makes you think maybe you should use the dirty tactics after all. Since none of your tactics have worked so far. So get ready for some more physical action and less clothes. Like a lot less.

 

**5\. STRIP NAKED AND HUG HIM IN PUBLIC**

Step five is a little more risqué but with a body like yours, there’s hardly anything stopping you. So here’s how the plan should go: The cup of China, or any other figure skating cup really, is about to begin and it’s the night before. You’re eating out (well, you eat, he just mostly watches claiming no raw food before the competition) and somehow you run into an old friend of his. It’s all fun and games despite you feeling a little intimidated by said friend because he still hasn’t told you very much about his past love life. All you got was “no comment” and then you’re suddenly face to face with another man who lived with him in Detroit for some time. Possibly even shared a room with him. Something you still haven’t managed to do (really, even your poodle is closer to him at the moment). With a setting like this, it’s okay to get little aggressive.

So start drinking, as it works as a great excuse for stripping. Of course, you’re not really drunk because Russians can’t get drunk. But what they don’t know won’t hurt them. First take your shirt off and cling to him. It doesn’t matter if the press isn’t there, you can always count on your possible love rival to take plenty of pictures for the whole Instagram to see. You’re going to like those pictures later, because you’d have to be a monster (or an angry Russian teen) to _not_ to like that blush covering his whole face when he’s desperately trying to see where your shirt landed. But really, he hasn’t seen anything yet. Figuratively speaking of course, because he should have seen everything at step one if you followed the instructions carefully.

Just taking off your shirt doesn’t do it. You need to be more forward. Really, just do your best to make him finally get the message. Remove your pants. That’s right, do it. And not just your pants, your underwear too (hopefully you remembered to leave boxers home and wear something more… tasty). He should now be feeling your dick against his back or thighs or at least against something, depending on your position. Oh and remember to use this situation to glare at your (possible) competition, while cuddling against your skater naked. Possible side effects of this step: mentally scarring some young, innocent skaters who had just wanted to meet the living legend but ended up with said living legend’s pants on their heads. Remember to apologize to them later on social media. And then ask them to send you the pictures from that evening too as it seems they are probably too shy to post them online for the whole world to see.

He still didn’t understand what that dick rubbing against him in the restaurant meant? Don’t worry, we’ve only covered half of the tips so far. Next one should do it.

 

**6\. KISS HIM IN PUBLIC**

So your naked dick didn’t do the trick (that would be the first)? Let’s go back to the basics then. It can’t get any more basic than a kiss. You’ve probably wanted to do this for a while now. Like possibly for a few months already. You have your limits and being kissless for that long (no, your dog does not count) must feel jarring. You may have neglected your life and love for the twenty something years but that doesn’t mean you should neglect kissing for that long too. Even if it’s for him. Besides your lips are going to get chapped and rusty if you don’t get to use them soon and there’s no lip balm that can restore them from that. Speaking of lip balm, you must remember to use it before kissing, for the extra shiny and tasty outcome.

Now, because the subject has revealed himself to be an extremely tough case, you probably can’t just kiss him out of nowhere. At least not without any good excuse. So maybe you could just you know, ask him? The situation could be better than him crying his eyes out in front of you (because you just _had_ to see if his heart was going to shatter and of course it did, what did you think it would do you idiot!?) but hey, you gotta work with what you’re given. So make up some excuse again. Like saying you have no idea what to do with people crying in front you and casually add that maybe you should kiss him. If he agrees, good.  Stop reading and start kissing him. Remember to stop before it’s his turn to skate though. If he doesn’t, you’re probably going to get yelled at because it was a kind of silly suggestion after all. He may also reference your earlier skating program and ask you to just have faith in him and be by his side. Also, his crying face is probably super cute but please, do not take a picture of it. That would seriously kill the mood (you don’t want to make him anymore angry at you than he already is).

As the asking strategy completely bunked, it’s now time to go with the action one instead. Wait until the end of his free program. Have some serious dokis while watching him because he’s trying to mimic your jump at the end of his program making you remember again how much you love him. Do not yell it out loud though, if only because the roar of the audience is so loud nobody would hear you anyway. Just kiss him. Go on, there’s nothing to lose and the situation is perfect. He’s skating towards you with the gorgeous smile resting on his face, hair slick with wax and sweat, hands apart, ready to hug you (hoping you don’t dodge him this time). But do not fall for the hug. The time of hugs is behind (not really though as the next step is all about the hugs), and the time of kisses has just began. Jump onto him, give him no time to wonder what is going on and smack your needy (and very shiny) lips against his!

…and then remember to let go pretty much right away since it’s going to hurt like bitch once you hit the ice if you’re still kissing. Protect his head instead and make it look like you did nothing but just hug. The TV audience will know though, if they use the right camera angle. Right now he’s probably looking pretty shocked (there is a chance he’s never been kissed after all) so just smile at him. Gaze at him lovingly and make up some bullshit excuse how you wanted to surprise him (after all, surprising people is what you do for living), in case the TV staff is recording your conversation. You may have shared the kiss with the world but you don’t want to share the confession too. You probably want to make out some more and make sure he properly gets you this time and knows your excuses are just for the cameras and your eyes are the ones that tell him the truth. If you’re met with a gaze as loving as yours, it probably means he finally got it and noticed you’ve been pining for him almost a year already.

Or maybe he didn’t get it at all and once you’re back in your hotel, he slams his hotel room’s door shut right in front of you, yelling good-nights and stuff. And you’re back at square one. Well at least you have some good memories entertaining you tonight.

 

**7\. TRANSFORM HIM INTO A HUG ADDICT**

You may have noticed by now that your relationship is constant pushing and pulling. You’re trying to pull him in, he’s pushing you away. Then he suddenly pulls you in (god, you are still getting shivers from that “don’t take your eyes off me”, aren’t you) only to push you away yet again. Even after a literal tie-pulling too! Frustrating, right? Sometimes you think he’s some kind of evil lord who’s toying with your emotions. It’s like he knows you’ve been in love with him since pretty much day one and yet he keeps teasing you; giving his little finger only to break the contact when you try to take the whole hand. Take a deep breath and keep reading. Time to do some mental maintenance and make him want your touch just as bad.

You’ve trained your poodle (and if you don’t have a poodle, go buy one right now. They are lovely animals) so training him shouldn’t be too much of a task. Just reward him with a hug, and maybe with a kiss once like suggested in the previous step, after his performances. Soon he’s going to connect the dots between hugging you and the end of the skating performance. Sooner, he’s not going to be okay unless he gets to hug you after his performance, and that is your goal. Give it to him good, hug him tightly! Maybe accidental lips brushing against his neck types of hugs too. Hand holding while hugging. Bear hugs. Whatever comes to your mind that involves slapping your arms around him and feeling his heartbeat against your chest. Whispering things to his ears like: “how did _that_ feel” or “your performance made me feel _really_ good” while hugging is always okay, even when he probably won’t get the dirty meaning behind the words. But if you continue doing that, it can’t be much longer until he notices just how big of a boner his eros performance gives you.

Now that he’s hooked on hugging you after the performances, it’s time for you to step out for a moment. Excuses like “shit my dog is dying” work pretty well and he probably pushes you to the plane back to Japan with his own hands. It is terrible to be apart from him, even for a little while, but hang in there. The results will be worth it. Picture this: the competition in Russia is over and he is finally out of the plane and back in Japan too. The cutest (and very much alive) poodle in the world notices him behind the glass at the airport and you both start running towards the doors that separate you. It is just sappy enough to mend your heart and the moment when you spread your arms and he runs towards to and practically throws himself to that hug, makes it feel like this whole long journey has been worth it. You got the results you wanted: he just can’t go on unless he gets to hug you. Possibly daily if you’re lucky (although if you were lucky, you wouldn’t be reading step seven right now). You may have seen some pictures of him hugging other people and you even told him to hug your old coach but those don’t matter. Those were just some test subjects to see if hugging you felt special or whether he was okay with hugging just anyone. If Instagram’s hug-zombie pictures tell the truth, the results should be clear by now.

This hug is also going to be different. Do not say anything dirty this time, just let him take the lead. Being apart from you has probably done good for him. Perhaps even made him finally think about what he wants and what you and your relationship really mean to him. If you have followed these steps closely, he should now ask you to take care of him until he retires. You should kiss his hand and playfully add that _wow that sounded just like a marriage proposal_. It’s good to start finally thinking about that merry future you know (more of this at the next step). When he hugs you again, because he’s at a loss for words after your flirty statement, don’t forget to add that you never want him to retire. He may be little (okay a lot) thick headed, but you just basically said you wanted to be with him forever. Even he should be able to take the hint.

Or not. As you get back home and find yourself sleeping at the separate bedroom. Yet again.

**8\. TELL HIM YOU’RE GOING TO GET MARRIED ONCE HE WINS THE GOLD MEDAL**

 

It’s been a long road since step one, hasn’t it? You’ve tried pretty much everything in your arsenal so far. Why doesn’t he get it yet? Why is it so hard for him to understand how much you want him!? But it’s no use throwing a fit now. Calm yourself down and imagine it’s the last few seconds before the Grand Prix final. You know you can do this. After all, you’re a living legend. There’s no way you can’t make him your sixth consecutive win. A gold is a gold no matter whether it’s a medal or a ring. Which leads us to this step’s main topic. Time to make him aware that you really, really want to get married to him.

Barcelona is a very romantic city in December and a great place to set the mood right. Take him shopping, possibly buy him a new suit and especially a new tie (finally). Maybe something that brings out the color of his eyes more or just anything that isn’t anywhere near that awful light blue shade. Preferably something that hasn’t been swimming in champagne glasses and in only God (and possibly one previously mentioned Swiss figure skater) knows what. Walk hand in hand in the Christmas market and let him do the searching. After all, you love to watch him and how his gaze wanders places. Just lead him towards the jewelry shop sneakily and let him think he noticed the shop all by himself. If he doesn’t go in immediately you can say something like “btw it’s my bday soon” as a hint. Athletes can act surprisingly under the pressure and if you play your cards right that night, he’ll buy you matching rings. Titled as wedding rings. Sounds good right?

Well, do not get your hopes up just yet. He’s probably been in denial since his birth, so there is a very high chance that despite him literally dragging you to the church and putting the ring to your right hand (does he know that in Russia that means engagement) in the end he’s going to claim they are for good luck. Don’t let the disappointment show on your face. Just smile like you always do. You can correct him later on. Oh yeah, and be ready for the shock of the year when he reveals he doesn’t actually remember anything about last year’s banquet (no wonder he never brought it up no matter how much you were hinting at it). Not the dance-offs, not the pole dance, not grinding against you, not begging for you to be his coach and certainly not the moment you fell in love with him…

The possible love rival redeems himself by congratulating you two on your marriage once he sees the rings and that is your cue. Don’t let him have time to deny anything and boldly state you aren’t married just yet, only engaged. And that you _will_ get married once he wins the gold medal. Possible side effects: you never getting married as he is unable to win the gold. You have now very clearly stated that you want to get married to him. If he isn’t a total blockhead, he should realise about right there that you’ve been trying to seduce him for the past eight or nine months. Yes, he should now understand he’s being seduced and finally confess his feelings to you. There really isn’t anything much better than being confessed to (obviously not counting the benefits involving bed or table or elevator wall that come after the confession) and you’d very much like him to do the honors. Besides, despite all your confidence, there’s still _a tiny_ chance he’s going to reject you and you don’t even want to think about how much it would hurt. Which sadly leads us to step nine…

 

**9\. CRY**

Despite all your great work so far it seems he still hasn’t got a clue about your feelings (if after getting engaged he still doesn’t understand anything you’re probably starting to question how his mother raised him again). So be prepared for the worst. Before moving to the sad part, here are some words of courage: you can use this to your advantage. If you cry, surely he must see that your feelings go beyond those of a mere coach. You are a pretty guy and you will still look pretty when you cry. If your laughing face hasn’t done it, nor the sexy face or even your naked body (seriously did he hit his head when he was a child!?), your crying face is pretty much your last resort then. So here’s the plan:

You’re out of the bath, you two are finally, _finally_ sharing a hotel room (these steps have at least gotten _something_ right). You are wearing nothing but your bathrobe and sitting in front of him (spread those legs a bit, just in case). He says there’s something he wants to talk about. You are thinking about tasting that eros and finally getting laid tonight but he chooses to say he’s going to retire after the Grand Prix and wait.

What?

Wasn’t this whole plan about seducing him and now he’s just going to leave you!? Expect him to suggest you two should end this after the final. Wait about two seconds after the statement and then let those tears loose. You don’t even have to force or fake them, it’s going to happen pretty naturally. When was the last time you cried anyway? Oh yeah, back at his home when he rejected your sleeping together -offer for the first time. Call him selfish (he really is. Why else would he want to end things with the love of his life) and hope he will realise his words were a mistake and he doesn’t ever want to let you go.

Too bad it won’t happen though. He’s just going to lift your hair to see if you are actually crying (seriously wtf). Despite you loving him, it’s okay to feel angry at that moment.

Because he is just an idiot who apparently doesn’t know what’s really in your heart!

Stupid Yuuri!

Telling me to continue skating while he’s going to retire. What was he thinking? Hadn’t I made it perfectly clear that I wanted to stay by his side forever and ever!? After 8 months of nonstop seducing how can he still think I want to skate more than to be with him?

So all these steps are for nothing and if you made it this far I can only say that----

“Wow, way to sound bitter, me!” Victor laughed and stopped typing. It really hadn’t been _that_ bad.

Everything had been pretty okay after the Grand Prix anyway. Yuuri had wanted to keep on skating. He had wanted Victor to be his coach for another year and…

“Okay, maybe he didn’t get what I meant by “exciting me” while my knee was pretty much pressing against his crotch but… I guess that’s just how Yuuri is”, Victor sighed and rubbed his forehead with his right hand. The ring was still there, golden and shiny as it should be. They were living together in Russia, training together too. And yet, he still hadn’t made any progress at all. At least it felt like that. Sure, Yuuri didn’t run away from Victor anymore when he touched him and the hugs were still there but… Victor felt like he wasn’t any closer to getting Yuuri to his bed to do something else than sleeping than he had ever been.

“What am I going to do with step 10…” Victor sighed again. This was supposed to be helping other coaches with massive and probably a little inappropriate crushes on their pupils but how was it going to help anyone if it wasn’t even helping him first. At this rate he would have to delete the ‘easy’ part from the title.

“What step 10? Are you writing something, Victor?” It was Yuuri who was back from walking Makkachin. He was a little out of breath and his face had a few sweat drops. Just how Victor liked it (there were also other ways how Victor liked Yuuri but they were way too kinky to be shared in brackets).

Victor looked at the text he had been writing. All these great tricks and they still hadn’t kissed since the end of the cup of China. He had waited for a long time and soon it was going to feel like it was too long. It was time to take the matter into his own hands (and no, he was not talking about those nights when he was needy and Yuuri provided no help outside of the nice mental image whatsoever). It had been over a year already and Victor was finally ready to confess. He had seen the way Yuuri looked at him, there was no way he was going to get rejected (r-right? Oh god, maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe step 10 could be something like “use Yakov as your cupid. Just don’t make him wear anything pink and frilly _”. No, no! This is going to work! Forget about cupid!Yakov and just confess!)._ Yuuri just needed to see the truth too and stop living in denial forever.

“Yuuri, welcome back! Makkachin, you too!” Victor turned around and walked where the two of his most loved ones were standing, hugging them both. Yuuri hugged back (like he was trained to do, thanks to step seven) tight and nice. Luckily Yurio was someplace else at the moment, Victor really didn’t need any gagging sounds to kill the mood this time.

“Actually”, he began, backing away couple of steps but his hands still clutching Yuuri’s shoulders, “there’s something I want to ask. Been wanting for a long time already.”

“Okay?” Yuuri looked at him, having no clue as usual. Victor braced himself.

“What do you think of me?”

“Huh?” Yuuri looked stumped. Obviously he had been expecting something else entirely (hopefully not the “Yuuri, take me right here and right now” because Victor would never forgive himself if he just blew his chance), “what do you mean? I-I respect you of course! You’re amazing and---“

“No, not like that. Let me phrase that question differently: what do you think of us?” Victor asked stepping a little closer again. This felt a lot like the time when he had caressed Yuuri’s lips and asked him to show his eros to Victor soon. Yuuri’s face was starting to heat up the same way too (was it good or bad if all the blood was rushing to his face and not to something more important down south?).

“U-us?” the younger man managed to say, “You mean what I think about your coaching or…”

Victor sighed. No wonder he hadn’t achieved anything in nine long steps. It was time to take some literal steps and make the younger man finally understand. Victor stepped forward, Yuuri backed away. It was a summary of their relationship or that was how Victor sometimes felt when his great seduction plan failed as usual.

Yuuri’s back was now against the wall – there was nowhere for him to run. Victor had him cornered. Just one more step. The tenth step that was waiting for its turn.

“Yuuri…” He was finally going to do it. He should have done it ages ago. Probably at the infamous banquet already. Why hadn’t Victor guided Yuuri back to his room that night and then accidentally lost his room key leaving them with no other option than to sleep in the same room and bed. He could have tapped that delicious booty right there and then. But no, Victor the romantic had decided it was okay for Celestino to take care of his skater and blindly trust that Yuuri would call him the next morning about the coaching details.

The truth was, there was nothing romantic about jerking off alone while Makkachin was the one who was allowed to sleep with Yuuri. Sometimes Victor wondered if his poodle did some of the things on purpose. Like licking Yuuri’s face a lot because obviously Victor wasn’t allowed to.

“Victor? You look kinda scary…”

“Don’t you think this performance has gone on long enough already?”

“Huh?”

 “You know, it’s not really the gold medal I want to kiss again…” Victor gave him a sad smile. He was being all subtle again but somehow the words “I want your heart and dick” just didn’t want to come out of his mouth.

Yuuri’s face was all red now (so much for there being any spare blood for Yuuri jr.). Like they had just met and Victor was making his first moves and not like it had been over a year already.

“Victor…”, Yuuri started, not really knowing where he should focus his gaze. Victor was right of course. About the performance. He had been thinking about it, how strange it was. Their whole relationship. Something was definitely there, perhaps had always been only that they hadn’t really talked about it. Victor had been hinting a lot of things for a long time already and Yuuri had noticed them. It’s just… Yuuri was Yuuri. He was pretty much anxiety taking a human form (he just wished anxiety would have preferred a form that didn’t get so fat so easily).

At first Yuuri had thought it was a European thing. Like with Chris and his constant ass-grabbing. Victor was just being touchy feely and it’s not like he _really_ meant everything he said and did. Secondly, even if in some wild universe Victor did mean the things he did and said, there was no way, absolutely _no_ way, Yuuri was bold enough to even think of that. Victor Nikiforov hitting on _him!?_ Frankly, Yuuri and Yurio being all lovey-dovey made more sense than that. At least that was what Yuuri had been telling himself for a long, long time.

“I…” He started again, “I didn’t know if you were being serious. I thought… I thought it was just a coach thing or a… V-Victor thing!”

“A coach thing!? Wow, I need to ask Celestino what kind of ‘coach things’ he was doing with you…” Victor’s face couldn’t have been more than five centimeters away from Yuuri’s. The younger man was sweating again and it had nothing to do with running earlier.

“Yuuri”, Victor’s voice was lower than Yuuri had heard before, “we are living together, aren’t we?”

“Y-yes.”

“And we are currently practicing pair skating for the gala, isn’t that right?”

“Well yeah.”

“You bought us engagement rings last December, still remember that?”

“… errr they are good luck charms…”

“I’ve kissed you once, haven’t I?”

“Y-you said you wanted to surprise me…!”

“Yuuri”, Victor was starting to feel rather desperate, “I told you I wanted to get married once you win the gold medal.”

“There’s no way I could have thought you were being serious back then!” Yuuri tried to fight back. Yes, it definitely wasn’t normal, even he had noticed it. He was living with Victor and while it wasn’t _that_ uncommon to live together with your coach, it was probably pretty bizarre to sleep in the same bed as him (he had _almost_ asked Phichit one time if he and Celestino did it too but had chickened out in the very last moment). Victor had said his bed was big enough for the two of them and there wasn’t really enough space for another bed in his apartment. Yuuri had pushed all his questions to the back of his head and left them there. He knew they probably hugged too much (sometimes Yuuri felt like Victor had somehow manipulated his brains to yearn for all those hugs but that couldn’t have been true) and that he wasn’t that quick to correct people who had wrong ideas about their rings anymore but… it’s not like he and Victor had really talked about this whole… thing.

_Oh, I guess that’s what we’re doing right now,_ Yuuri thought and somehow the situation was more unnerving than five Grand Prix finales put together (well he would actually have to attend three more to see if it was true).

“I cried when you said you wanted to end things. Wasn’t that serious enough? How many more steps do you need?” Victor argued again. He was growing tired of this – why wasn’t he kissing Yuuri already? Step ten was taking way too much time. He should have gone with the cupid!Yakov instead (even when only the mental image was enough to kill his boner probably for the rest of his life). At least that man had a way of doing things quickly and efficiently.  

“Steps?” Yuuri stared at Victor, visibly confused, “and w-when you cried… I wasn’t sure why! No I mean… more like I didn’t dare to think why… because…”

“Because?” Victor clung to that word. Yuuri was not getting away. Not this time.

“Because…There’s no way I could have just thought that my l-lifelong idol would… would…” Yuuri stuttered, trying to find the right words. Where was his confident eros-self when it was most needed again?

“Love you?” Victor helped, twirling Yuuri’s hair between his fingers. It had looked good when it was cut short but the longer version looked hot too. Well, there was nothing that didn’t make Yuuri look good. Except that tie, that hideous light blue tie. Yuuri nodded, blushing. He hadn’t blushed this much in a long time.

“And here I thought I had made it pretty clear what I wanted… after all these steps…” Victor shook his head.

“You were. I just didn’t dare to think about it (no but seriously what steps was Victor talking about?)”, Yuuri said biting his lower lip, trying to smile despite feeling nervous. Victor didn’t smile. He would only smile when step 10 had been achieved. Which would hopefully happen in the next 15 seconds (and then the _next_ 15 seconds they could spend taking off their clothes. Seconds that came after that were too dangerous to think about right now unless he wanted to Yuuri to witness the rise of another living legend against him).

“I want to marry you, Yuuri. How can I make you understand that?”

Yuuri’s reaction reminded Victor of the latest Grand Prix. Yuuri clutching his silver medal and tears of happiness falling out of his eyes when Victor had told him he better become a five-time gold medalist like himself. The look the younger man was giving to him was a mixed bag of happiness and shock. The steps obviously needed some fixing if after _everything_ Victor had done, Yuuri was still shocked by the revelation that Victor actually wanted to be with him 24/7.

“Me too”, Yuuri finally answered, face filled with snot falling from his nose and eyes red from sudden crying. Victor thought he looked absolutely stunning. There was no hint of hesitation in Yuuri’s voice anymore, when he finally made it clear: “I want to marry you too, Victor.”

15 seconds were up letting Victor finally smile, “Yuuri…”

“Honestly speaking I did want to propose to you back in Barcelona already”, Yuuri spoke again. His voice was lower and there was something mischievous on his face. Victor recognized it – _eros_ , “but somehow all my brain was allowed to think of was the good luck charms…”

“I should have fucked your brains out before Barcelona then”, Victor let out before he could stop himself. Damn, maybe he shouldn’t have kept so close contact with Chris after all (no more fantasy exchanging with his blonde friend after this). It was making him say all the wrong things at the wrong time.

Yuuri looked absolutely shocked, “V-Victor!”

Before Victor had the chance to explain, Yuuri continued, “I wish you would have done that.”

Okay. Obviously all the right things at the very right time (JJ’s time was up. Chris deserved to be crowned as the next king). Victor actually had to blink a couple of times, to fully believe that those words had just come out of _his_ Yuuri’s mouth. The older man didn’t know how to reply. Truly, the other was full of surprises. Maybe they should continue the eros routine for this season as well. This was going way beyond that 5/5 eros from last season.

“What”, Yuuri snorted at Victor’s dumbfounded reaction. His gaze was somewhere on the wall behindVictor. Eros-mode on or not, it was still too embarrassing to actually look at the other man. “You had me skate eros _and_ seduce you for months! I was pretty much living with a perma boner back then.”

“Why didn’t you tell me! I wanted to sleep together almost every night. We could have solved your _problems_ mutually”, Victor couldn’t believe his ears. All this time wasted jerking off in separate rooms. He could pretty much make a program out of this and announce his theme for this season being “tragedy”.

“Given that you were pretty much the source of my ‘problems’, don’t you see why I _didn’t_ let you into my room”, Yuuri finally looked at Victor again, smiling (also there had been those posters stacked under his bed but Victor still didn’t need to know about them).

“But you let Makkachin in…” Victor whined and Yuuri recognized that tone. Someone was about to act all needy again.

“Speaking of Makkachin, I should really take a shower with her. We are both sweaty after all.”, Yuuri clapped his hands together, stepping away from very devastated looking Victor.

“Yuuri…!”

“Just kidding~ I guess I need _someone_ to scrub my back and it’s not going to be Makkachin, right?”, Yuuri smirked at Victor (thank you, step eight in “How to handle your needy and sometimes naked Russian coach” guide list he had been writing in case someone else wanted some tips in the future). His face was looking a lot like at the beginning of the eros -performance. Praise step two! Actually praise all the steps! Victor knew they were going to get him laid. Sooner or later. Only this was very much later than he had hoped. But as long as Yuuri was looking at him like _that,_ Victor wasn’t going to complain. About anything. Ever again (except maybe about that tie. It needed to be burned to crisps already).

To Yuuri’s surprise, Victor didn’t immediately push him straight to the shower but turned back to his computer instead. There was still one last thing to do.

“Victor?”

“Just a second, then I will show you scrubbing that’s worth at least three gold medals and about a hundred kisses”, Victor answered, typing something with the keyboard and then turning off the computer screen. Yuuri was waiting at the doorway. It was no use trying to read what Victor was writing. It was all in Russian and Yuuri’s language skills were still pretty much at the “DAVAI” level. When Victor returned to his side, Yuuri’s eyes were full of questions (surprisingly none of them were ‘where’s the lube’, but they could get to that part later) but Victor only answered one of them by cupping Yuuri’s chin and kissing him firmly on the lips (was it just Victor or were there really angels singing right now? Oh wait, it was neither. The sound came from Makkachin who was whining because no attention was paid to her). The younger man gasped against Victor’s lips but finally after the first shock wore away he met Victor where he had promised to – the half way. Yuuri tasted like the too familiar and too expensive lip balm Victor was keeping in the top drawer of his night stand. No wonder he was always running out of that stuff. Something was going to be added to the coaching fees (and if Yuuri didn’t have that much money on him there were _other_ ways the payment could be done).

“Now we can go.”

“W-what were you writing?” Yuuri stuttered again, red faced. Ah, so long eros-mode for now. Or maybe Victor’s kisses had the power of sucking it out. Hopefully not because that would mean they’d have to seriously limit kissing before the much awaited adult wrestling part (Makkachin was too innocent and needed not to know what they were actually doing). Oh well, dirty talk had done the trick once and it would surely do it again. After all, there was a lot more where that had come from (again, thank you Chris).

Victor put his arm around the shorter man’s shoulder, snuggling against Yuuri’s dark hair, “Hmm… I wonder. I think I forgot already.”

 

**10\. REALISE THAT DESPITE ALL OF THIS ADVICE YOUR SKATER JUST HAPPENS TO LOVE LIVING IN DENIAL AND THERE’S NO WAY YOU’RE GOING TO TAP THAT UNLESS YOU TELL HIM STRAIGHT.**

**Author's Note:**

> I am in deep yoi hell just like everyone else.


End file.
